Life Hack: Learn From Top Economists™ How to Ruin Trust and Rack Up Debt in Seven Simple Moves!

Ever lent money to a friend in need? Or maybe you’ve been on the other side, asking for a little financial help? Remember that moment — the trust, the handshake, the earnest promises exchanged? Then you’ll know that trust is, well… complicated.

So, for all you ambitious borrowers out there, here’s a simple, foolproof guide. Just follow these seven moves, and you’ll be the last person anyone wants to lend to — whether they’re a friend, a bank, or an entire nation. At least until the generational amnesia sets in. It’s an art, really.

Step 1: Build a Nice Foundation of Trust

Start strong. Give everyone around you the impression that you’re a responsible, reliable person. Or just be a "trusted institution". After all, you can’t shatter expectations if there aren’t any to begin with! Secure that loan, shake hands, make promises. They’ll totally believe you.

You’re simply laying the groundwork. After all, what’s a little trust, right? Imagine those ridiculous grandparents of ours who lived within their means and saved money. Imagine! They genuinely thought that keeping income and expenses in check was wise. It gets worse: they even held onto that money instead of spending it.

Sure, that approach worked in their little world of “common sense”, but Top Economists™ (yes, there’s a Nobel for that) have since enlightened us. Saving is out. Keynesian wisdom shows us that every penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy. In short: frugality is yesterday’s news. Saving is embarrassing and — let's be frank — anti-social. 

Step 2: Use the Funds Responsibly (Or at Least Look Like You Are)

Now that you’ve got their faith (and maybe some cash), go ahead and make a couple of wise moves. This isn’t the time for fireworks just yet. Use those funds to pay off some bills or invest in something that looks promising. Give your lender the sense that they were right to trust you, even if you’re counting the days until you can max out your newfound credit.

This is the calm before the storm, where you look like you’ve actually got it together. Meanwhile, you might hear cautious murmurs from naysayers, warning about “debt ceilings” and “living within means” — but really, who’s paying attention to such antiquated notions anymore? People who clutch their precious, common-sense principles simply don’t understand the nuanced, complex, and frankly scientific world of modern economics.

Step 3: Bask in Your Success – Loudly

Congratulations! You’ve done something right, and now you have a tiny success story. Maybe your business is doing okay, or that government project got off the ground. This is where you pause, pat yourself on the back, and get a taste for praise. Drink in the illusion of being a financial genius. Hint: you’ll want to remember this feeling as things start spiraling later on.

The sensible folks will tell you to “reinvest wisely” or “maintain a safety cushion.” But what do they know? Let’s turn to the experts who really matter — the ones with books, prizes, and televised seminars. Top Economists™ will tell you that reinvesting profits isn’t just old-fashioned; it’s inefficient. Growth requires risk! Capital must be deployed! Besides, the world runs on consumption, and nobody got ahead by saving.

Step 4: Start Getting a Little Reckless

You’re flying high now, and that’s when it’s time to get creative. Feel free to borrow more since you’ve already got that stellar track record. Try out a few big purchases — new car? Fancy office? Who’s watching (the loan, I mean; everybody should be watching the car!)? If you’re in government, why not add a new department or fund a vanity project that makes you look good? The money will probably come back eventually, right? If it doesn't, you will have left office and taken a boat to the Bahamas!

Of course, there are those who’ll warn that you’re “living beyond your means” and heading toward a “bubble,” but that just shows they don’t grasp the bigger picture. As Top Economists™ might remind you, the economy is built on trust, and the bigger the debt, the greater the trust! 

Don't get all worked up trying to understand this. It’s high-minded stuff, honestly, too advanced for the “common sense” crowd. The world is complex and thinking too hard about it makes you go depressed and who wants to hang out with a spoil-sport anyways!

Step 5: Keep Going Beyond Your Capacity – Denial Works Wonders!

If you start hearing that tiny voice saying, “Is this maybe too much debt?” just drown it out. What’s the worst that could happen? When borrowing gets dicey, reassure yourself that you’re just “leveraging potential” or “enhancing growth.” This is when things turn a bit… willful. But who doesn’t love a bit of adrenaline? Embrace that creeping sense of dread; it’s part of the fun.

It all worked out quite wonderfully and you begin to believe that you can actually keep extinguishing existing debt with more debt for an indefinite time. You can simply keep borrowing more! Your (admittedly by historical standards limited) experience has now taught you that the perpetuum mobile does exist! What doesn't work in physics wondrously seems to work in the world of economics! Heureka!

And here’s the fun part: in the 1950s, each borrowed dollar would generally produce a full dollar’s worth of economic output. It was almost an even trade — imagine that! Today, however, things are more… nuanced. In 2024, it takes over $4 of debt to squeeze out a single dollar of economic output.

But that’s a minor detail. Top Economists™ suggest reframing the matter. Debt multipliers, hedged capital outflows — economics is complex! Can you really reduce all this to a simple number? Debt must flow, just like water, because only stagnant economies worry about “outputs.”

Since you are at it, at this stage, you’ll also want to shift from “investive” borrowing (where you’re at least pretending there’s some return) to “consumptive” borrowing. Now, your debts are paying not just the interest on past loans but also funding a more… shall we say, lavish lifestyle?

Step 6: Congratulations – You’re Officially in Betrayal Mode!

Things are now getting quite exciting! Creditors, friends, or voters are starting to question your choices, and you’re wondering why they can’t just trust the process. After all, debt is just a number, right? A minor detail! When the bill comes due and the funds are nowhere to be found, it’s officially time to ghost those loyal lenders. If they reach out, tell them to take a number. You’ve got new creditors to appease.

At this point, you’ll be looking back fondly on the days of that good reputation you had. But let’s not dwell on the past; you’re on to new things — like managing your fallout.

Step 7: The Painful (But Optional!) Rebuilding Phase

Reputation in tatters? Perfect! You’ve made it to the final step. Now, if you’re really ambitious, you could try rebuilding that trust… but that sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? If you decide to go for it, it will probably take years of humility and restraint, which, let’s be honest, aren’t exactly thrilling.

And that brings us to a nice twist: rebuilding trust isn’t as fun or lucrative as borrowing in the first place. Sure, you could try to be frugal, live within your means, maybe even (shudder) save a bit of money. But then you’d be just like your grandparents — those quaint relics who thought that keeping a lid on spending was somehow smart.

If anyone accuses you of irresponsibility, condemn them in the strongest of terms. Accuse them of ignorance and preferably ridicule them for their ignorance. They’re just relics of a time when people couldn’t “understand” debt. Today, we know better. We have experts, Nobel winners, data analysts, even quantum economists who argue that debt isn’t just a tool; it’s the lifeblood of growth. Just give it a little time for common sense to take a back seat, and you’ll be back in business in no time.

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Disclaimer: The content of this article is intended for informational and satirical purposes only. It does not constitute financial, economic, or legal advice. Any resemblance to real financial strategies or economic theories is purely coincidental and should not be interpreted as guidance. Please consult a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances before making any decisions based on the views or content expressed here. The author and publisher are not liable for any financial losses, misunderstandings, or ill-advised debt cycles resulting from this article.